We are oh so lucky, Eldy and I.
It has been just over a year since his treatment started. During that year, he has dealt with chemo every other week (which he continues to receive.) He's really lucky, because a) it's working, and b) he tolerates it pretty well. The worst side affect has been fatigue, and that doesn't usually seem to last long. (Plus, he's very good about listening to his body and taking it easy when he needs to.)
In addition to the chemo, they gave him something called Erbitux - something they only use on fairly high grade cancer. Boy, was that rough - between the acne like rash and the gastrointestinal abuse, he really was hit hard, but.... the upside is that it worked!
So how is he doing? He's had numerous ct scans to assess things. Many of the spots in his liver are now completely gone. The few remaining are "tiny" (oncologist's word.) His CEA level is 1.7 - which is FANTASTIC, and in the normal range!
I still call this the gift with the ugly wrapping. Would I choose this? Absolutely not. But we have enjoyed spending time together in this last year more than we have in the previous 27 years of our marriage. We've improved our home a lot - new front doors, the whole downstairs painted, new oak flooring. We cherish each other and our time and family and friends, and have high hopes for many more years of cherishing ahead. Sometimes I feel greedy, and then I wish more than anything to hear those words "You're all done with chemo, and you're cancer free." But those words will come, and in the meantime, I am oh SO grateful - for the treatment that has worked, for the caring doctors and nurses he's gotten to know so well, for the love and prayers of so many.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Monday, May 9th - The Day This All Started
Well, it wasn't quite the day it all started, but it's the day when all hell broke loose.
For a few weeks, Eldy had been feeling really tired. He'd take a shower, walk downstairs and go into his office and sit down, exhausted. He didn't really say much about it, although it was obvious he wasn't feeling really great. Mostly it just seemed strange that he would go to bed so early. Sometimes, he'd walk kind of funny, too - like he was unsteady on his feet.
Mother's Day weekend of this year, things seemed to escalate. Saturday night he mentioned he might have me take him to urgent care the next day, but then Sunday morning he said he felt better. We decided to go out for lunch to celebrate Mother's Day at one of our favorite places - T's Cafe in Solana Beach - with our boys, and our son Matthew's girlfriend Tamsin and her parents. Eldy had trouble walking in, and looked really pale the whole time. When we got up to leave, we were afraid he was going to pass out. Thank heavens Sam was there to help his dad to the car. (Sam is a 6'6" giant.)
When we got home, Eldy went to bed, and we agreed that if things hadn't changed the next morning, I would take him to Urgent Care. Eldy seldom gets sick, so I knew that if he thought he needed help, he really needed help. We suspected this was caused by a problem with his blood pressure medication. He checks it frequently at home, and it was often low, although at his doctor's office the week before, it had gone up - standard white coat high blood pressure, we thought.
Monday morning, he got up and took a shower and got dressed, and was exhausted. I drove him to Scripps Urgent Care. Inside, they checked him in and immediately took him back to the triage area. Two guys took his vital signs, and then a nurse came to check him out. She took one look at Eldy and said "Oh, somebody's going to be getting a transfusion today!" Wow, I knew he was pale, but that was a surprise. They took a blood sample and asked lots of questions - things like - have you been coughing up blood, is there any blood in your urine, have you noticed any blood in your stool. Nope, nope, nope. The ER doctor came and talked to us - said Eldy's hemoglobin level was dangerously low - 4.9, when 13-15 is normal - and wanted to admit him right away and start a transfusion. He got settled in to a room and they started the IV line and got the transfusion going pretty quickly. They gave him three units that night. We were told that they would do a colonoscopy on Tuesday to see if they could find the source of the bleeding that would explain the low hemoglobin level.
I went home that night feeling kind of stunned, and puzzled by the whole thing. He had suggested that I go to work on Tuesday - saying he would call me after the colonoscopy. Reluctantly, that's what I did. They were supposed to do the procedure at 1:30pm, but apparently they were an hour late in getting started. I kept waiting to hear from him - finally called the nurse's desk and was told he wasn't back yet. 15 minutes later, I got a call from one of the doctor's asking if I was planning to come in at all that day. I told him I'd been waiting for a call and would be there as fast as I could get there.
And that's when everything changed. They told us they found a tumor in his colon - they said it was about 4" long (although eventually we found out it was quite a bit smaller than that) and they were pretty sure it was cancer, although they would know for sure when the pathology reports came back. That night, they did a ct scan to see if the cancer had spread within his abdomen. Yes - there were spots in his liver.
We talked to a number of different doctors that day, and it was mind numbing. One doctor we jokingly called Dr. Eeyore - "We're going to do a scan to see if it's inoperable." The next morning, the surgeon came in to talk to Eldy. They did another scan to see if there was anything in his lungs. (No, thank God.) He was scheduled for surgery on Thursday to remove the main tumor in his colon. An oncologist talked to him - saying the scariest words of the whole thing - stage 4 colon cancer. He talked prognosis (a bit prematurely, I'd say) - giving the impression that this is about a 2 year deal.
I knew Eldy hadn't lost his sense of humor. Before I left that night, I told him that I wanted at least another good 15 years with him. "Hmmmmm," he said "she doesn't want 20." I laughed and told him that would be fine, 15 was just my minimum. And then I cried my eyes out in the car on the way home. It's strange, when you get a shock like that. I walked in the house, and everything looked unfamiliar, and seemed surreal. The Twilight Zone - that's what it felt like. I could almost hear Rod Sterling's voice narrating.
For a few weeks, Eldy had been feeling really tired. He'd take a shower, walk downstairs and go into his office and sit down, exhausted. He didn't really say much about it, although it was obvious he wasn't feeling really great. Mostly it just seemed strange that he would go to bed so early. Sometimes, he'd walk kind of funny, too - like he was unsteady on his feet.
Mother's Day weekend of this year, things seemed to escalate. Saturday night he mentioned he might have me take him to urgent care the next day, but then Sunday morning he said he felt better. We decided to go out for lunch to celebrate Mother's Day at one of our favorite places - T's Cafe in Solana Beach - with our boys, and our son Matthew's girlfriend Tamsin and her parents. Eldy had trouble walking in, and looked really pale the whole time. When we got up to leave, we were afraid he was going to pass out. Thank heavens Sam was there to help his dad to the car. (Sam is a 6'6" giant.)
When we got home, Eldy went to bed, and we agreed that if things hadn't changed the next morning, I would take him to Urgent Care. Eldy seldom gets sick, so I knew that if he thought he needed help, he really needed help. We suspected this was caused by a problem with his blood pressure medication. He checks it frequently at home, and it was often low, although at his doctor's office the week before, it had gone up - standard white coat high blood pressure, we thought.
Monday morning, he got up and took a shower and got dressed, and was exhausted. I drove him to Scripps Urgent Care. Inside, they checked him in and immediately took him back to the triage area. Two guys took his vital signs, and then a nurse came to check him out. She took one look at Eldy and said "Oh, somebody's going to be getting a transfusion today!" Wow, I knew he was pale, but that was a surprise. They took a blood sample and asked lots of questions - things like - have you been coughing up blood, is there any blood in your urine, have you noticed any blood in your stool. Nope, nope, nope. The ER doctor came and talked to us - said Eldy's hemoglobin level was dangerously low - 4.9, when 13-15 is normal - and wanted to admit him right away and start a transfusion. He got settled in to a room and they started the IV line and got the transfusion going pretty quickly. They gave him three units that night. We were told that they would do a colonoscopy on Tuesday to see if they could find the source of the bleeding that would explain the low hemoglobin level.
I went home that night feeling kind of stunned, and puzzled by the whole thing. He had suggested that I go to work on Tuesday - saying he would call me after the colonoscopy. Reluctantly, that's what I did. They were supposed to do the procedure at 1:30pm, but apparently they were an hour late in getting started. I kept waiting to hear from him - finally called the nurse's desk and was told he wasn't back yet. 15 minutes later, I got a call from one of the doctor's asking if I was planning to come in at all that day. I told him I'd been waiting for a call and would be there as fast as I could get there.
And that's when everything changed. They told us they found a tumor in his colon - they said it was about 4" long (although eventually we found out it was quite a bit smaller than that) and they were pretty sure it was cancer, although they would know for sure when the pathology reports came back. That night, they did a ct scan to see if the cancer had spread within his abdomen. Yes - there were spots in his liver.
We talked to a number of different doctors that day, and it was mind numbing. One doctor we jokingly called Dr. Eeyore - "We're going to do a scan to see if it's inoperable." The next morning, the surgeon came in to talk to Eldy. They did another scan to see if there was anything in his lungs. (No, thank God.) He was scheduled for surgery on Thursday to remove the main tumor in his colon. An oncologist talked to him - saying the scariest words of the whole thing - stage 4 colon cancer. He talked prognosis (a bit prematurely, I'd say) - giving the impression that this is about a 2 year deal.
I knew Eldy hadn't lost his sense of humor. Before I left that night, I told him that I wanted at least another good 15 years with him. "Hmmmmm," he said "she doesn't want 20." I laughed and told him that would be fine, 15 was just my minimum. And then I cried my eyes out in the car on the way home. It's strange, when you get a shock like that. I walked in the house, and everything looked unfamiliar, and seemed surreal. The Twilight Zone - that's what it felt like. I could almost hear Rod Sterling's voice narrating.
The Adventure and This Blog
My husband Eldy has cancer. We found out right after Mothers' Day. It's been a wild ride ever since.
He finally decided it's okay to go public with this. So this blog will be the space where we share what's happening.
Sitting in the waiting area at the clinic last week - I said to him "This is quite an adventure." He replied "LIFE is an adventure." Who knew my practical, get-er-done husband was a philosopher?! I'm learning that I have a lot to learn - about Eldy, about myself, about life, about healing. This blog is about our quest for healing.
He finally decided it's okay to go public with this. So this blog will be the space where we share what's happening.
Sitting in the waiting area at the clinic last week - I said to him "This is quite an adventure." He replied "LIFE is an adventure." Who knew my practical, get-er-done husband was a philosopher?! I'm learning that I have a lot to learn - about Eldy, about myself, about life, about healing. This blog is about our quest for healing.
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